From The Cheap Seats

The Sunday Age

Sunday January 18, 2009

LEAPING LARRY

STUNNER OF THE WEEK

THAT'S an amazing amount of money - over $200 million - that Manchester City is offering for Kaka. Of course, many of us follow sporting teams, if not entire leagues, that have paid huge money for Kaka in the past, but never when it's been a guy's actual name.

SNOOZER OF THE WEEK

THOSE were some "shock sensation stories" about Serena Williams "mocking" the rankings system and Jelena Jankovic (paraphrased, Williams indicated that, regardless of the rankings, in terms of personal motivation she always had to believe she was the best player - hardly a controversy to bury Watergate), and Roger Federer "questioning" Novak Djokovic's decision to change racquet brands (transparent gamesmanship, possibly augmented with a brand-related little flag-flying). Basically if news stories were linen, those wouldn't supply enough raw material to blow your nose on.

THE WEEKLY YAK ATTACK

WHAT most defines Australia as such a unique place? Some would say the fauna, some the overwhelming concentration of young British people with backpacks. The one indisputable correct answer is that Australia is the only place on the planet where Monday's NFC championship game would ever be billed as "Ben Graham's Arizona Cardinals v Sav Rocca's Philadelphia Eagles".

HOW FAR THE CHERRY?

ONE might struggle somewhat with the logic underlying Ernie Merrick's comments about Adelaide's potential difficulty in maintaining first position in the A-League with the pressure on, and "people dying to knock them off". Not to put too fine a point on it, the problem there is that Ernie's team, the Melbourne Victory, was previously in first position, and at the time he said it, the Victory was in second position. So is he trying to say that his team couldn't handle that pressure, or that Adelaide and the Victory are equally unsuited to it, or has he signed a secret deal with a pharmaceutical company, and is trying to give everyone a headache?

BOZO OF THE WEEK

THE AFL is sending three executives on a fact-finding mission to the Super Bowl? Well, let's save them some air fares, accommodation and "mad money". It's the play-off that decides the National Football League champion team. Unlike Australian football practice, they book internationally renowned major musical acts for entertainment. It's on television right here in Australia City. You can read about it all over the internet. Any remaining information probably could have been supplied by a lower-order NFL official during a 10-minute phone call. About the only other thing they do over there that can't be readily found here could have been effectively simulated by one of the AFL brains-trust hosting a barbecue out of the boot of his car somewhere around the Docklands area.

READER FEEDBACK OF THE WEEK

Regarding Cristiano Ronaldo's car crash, the following rumours have circulated:

- Witnesses claim he dived from the car prior to any contact.

- The first thing he said to the police was that the wall was not 10 yards away.

- The police arrived, and following discussion with Ronaldo, immediately arrested the nearest car's driver.

- Eddie Wilgar, Yarraville

(Sound off about sport at: leapso@hotmail.com)

© 2009 The Sunday Age

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